A New Way to Play Thou Art Translated

Here's a new way to play the game. Instead of translating simple into complex, I translated prose into poetry.


Letter of G.K. Chesterton to Mildred D’Avigdor
Translated into poetic format by Evan Winter

This morn, upon rising,
I poured out the water
And washed my boots, my face despising.
Well, What’s odder?

Then with graceful flourish
With tails trailing ‘fore me
I poured the drink on the canned fish
It was coffee.

Has my sane mind left me?
Is it absent merely?
Thinkers of my family
Think the second thingy.

The truth is, I’m engaged.
And you’re the first to know.
But to whom? I’ve enraged
With questions those who know.

They tell me (with a “stupid”)
The lady’s Francis Blogg
I cleared that up, I did
That minor mental fog

I feel very happy
Just remember your G.K
Both you and your dear Waldo hubby
I’m quite O.K.

Here's the real text:

Dear Mildred,
On rising this morning, I carefully washed my boots in hot water and blacked my face. Then assuming my coat with graceful ease and putting the tails in front, I descended to breakfast, where I gaily poured the coffee on the sardines and put my hat on the fire to boil. These activities will give you some idea of my frame of mind. My family, observing me leave the house by way of the chimney, adn take the fender with me under one arm, thought I must have something on my mind. So I had.
My friend, I am engaged. I am only telling it at present to my real friends, but there is no doubt about it. The next question that arisies is---whom am I engaged to? I have investigated the matter, and as far as I can make out, the best authorities point to Frances Blogg. There can be no reasonable doubt that she is the lady. It is as well to have these minor matters clear in one's mind.
I am very much too happy to write much, but I thought you might remember my existence sufficiently to be interested in the incident.
Waldo has been of so much help to me in this and in everything, and I am so much interested in you for his sake and your own that I am encouraged to hope that our friendship may subsist. If I have ever done anything rude or silly, it was quite inadvertent. I have always wished to please you.