Saturday, July 05, 2008

Come my friends, leave your quarrels and cares and indulge in a mug of poetry!

The Napoleon of Notting Hill is my favorite GK book, but nothing beats The Flying Inn for verse!

* * * * *

The Logical Vegetarian

You will find me drinking rum,
Like a sailor in a slum,
You will find me drinking beer like a Bavarian
You will find me drinking gin
In the lowest kind of inn
Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.

So I cleared the inn of wine,
And I tried to climb the sign,
And I tried to hail the constable as "Marion."
But he said I couldn't speak,
And he bowled me to the Beak
Because I was a Happy Vegetarian.

Oh, I know a Doctor Gluck,
And his nose it had a hook,
And his attitudes were anything but Aryan;
So I gave him all the pork
That I had, upon a fork
Because I am myself a Vegetarian.

I am silent in the Club,
I am silent in the pub.,
I am silent on a bally peak in Darien;
For I stuff away for life
Shoving peas in with a knife,
Because I am at heart a Vegetarian.

No more the milk of cows
Shall pollute my private house
Than the milk of the wild mares of the Barbarian
I will stick to port and sherry,
For they are so very, very,
So very, very, very, Vegetarian.


Love2Learn Mom said...

Hilarious!!! I've heard of this poem, but never actually read it before (to my daughter's absolute astonishment).

h. glossop said...

This should be set to music, a perfect drinking song, in the style of Finnegan's Wake, or Whiskey in the Jar.

gilbertgirl said...

Ah, drinking songs! Memories of the boisterous ride to Chestercon and the laryngitic one home. I agree, the one needs music - it may then be added to our repertoire.

Rob said...

When they told me I should die
Poisoned alcoholically,
I laughed and called them teetotalitarian.
"You are far behind the times.
All the latest people find
That the only thing is to be vegetarian."

fpcannon said...

I've found this can be set to an Irish (I believe) song titled "Come Out Ye Black and Tans".

Algernon said...

to Rob: Bravo!

to fpcannon: Cool!

Lucia Rosa said...

We sing it to the Irish drinking tune "Pretty little Cruiscin Lan." You can find links to recordings here!