Tuesday, May 26, 2009

More and More Trouble...By Ancient Greek Philosopher and Everglade

"THE CURSE OF CHESTERTON
PART TWO

The saga continues...

"Hello?"

"Is this Mrs. Winter."

"Right-o!"

"WE'VE FOUND YOUR SON!!!!"

"My goodness!!! Where is he? What happened?"

"Well it's quite an anomaly. We located him hitchhiking along the highway. He seems to be experiencing some form of amnesia. The only thing he seems to remember is a strong dislike for a fellow named Chesterton. Apparently he was preparing to organize a rally of Chesterton haters. Does this seem at all like him?"

"..."

AND SO THE PLOT THICKENS!

"B-b-but I don't understand! He is (insanely, profusely, utterly, and all-consumingly) OBSESSED with Chesterton!"

"Obsessed with disgracing him, apparently."

"No, no, no! This just isn't like him at all! Here, let me show you his library of Chesterton."

"If you insist."

Gazing at the complete works of Chesterton adorning Evan's walls, suddenly Mrs. Winter spots a small piece of paper thrust between two of Chesterton's books. She snatches it up, quite puzzled, and reads:

THE SECOND HALF OF CHESTERTON'S DYING WISH

I have made my opinions toward dancing as intelligible and non-negotiable as is humanly possible. Therefore, if any of my devoted reads fail to comply with my dying wish, they will receive the following fate. I shall disown them completely. They will no longer be considered enthusiasts of my work. Not only this, but they will find themselves at the opposite extreme, spending the rest of their days intent on smearing my name and my writing, until the day they chose to attend contra dances. Some may never be redeemed, but some I'm sure will see the light.

From G.K. Chesterton:

A note regarding contra dancing:

I have expressed my deep desire for my followers to participate in the form of American folk dance (derived from French and English folk dances) called Contra Dancing. Failure to comply ostracizes the guilty party from the nations of England, France, and the United States. The first stage of this deportation is the participation of a reformation class in Florence Italy. The next stages are to be determined by my associates."

A note from OFL

Oh dear! Chesterton is against vocations to the priesthood! Hee Hee :)! Priests and seminarians aren't supposed to dance, you know (at least, not in my diocese).

4 comments:

Old Fashioned Liberal said...

And yes, I really am going to Florence.

Old Fashioned Liberal said...

Wait a minute...Chesterton's note that commanded contra dancing was addressed to me, not to everyone. There goes my accusation of anticlericalism...

Ancient Greek Philosopher said...

Or maybe priests aren't supposed to follow Chesterton. :-)

Hans-Georg Lundahl said...

or maybe liturgy counts as holy dancing, which makes square dance superfluous